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The Inner Critic The Inner Critic is the negative internal voice that chronically monitors our thoughts and behaviors. It becomes activated when we are about to stretch outside of our comfort zones; or it constantly drones on in a daily effort to evaluate our actions, beliefs and expectations. It feels like a punitive, nattering presence that is constantly trying to keep us down and remind us of our limitations and failings. The Inner Critic voice is often so integrated into your sense of who you are that you don’t hear it as a separate aspect of yourself. You believe that you “are lazy, ugly and unlovable” and you act as if you are “not entitled to success, love or comfort.” You hear these internal statements as basic truths about your competency and character, rather than hearing this constraining inner force as a separate aspect of yourself. When you begin to see that you are composed of many selves, with a host of internal voices, you understand that this is just one voice in the internal chorus. As you gain some emotional distance from those parts you can cultivate an attitude of curiosity about why this critical voice is here and what its motivation is. Women are particularly vulnerable to the Inner Critic being integrated into their sense of self. Historically we have played many roles. The modern woman answers to many internal masters. If you are out in the world pursuing a career, there may be a part of you that feels badly that you are not home with your children. If you are at home, there are parts that think you should be accomplishing something else. The voices of envy and competition are turned inwards against ourselves. Working with the Inner Critic requires a specific set of skills: Ř You need to have the courage and strength to stand up to it; to create distance that gives you room to breath and find your center again. Ř You need to access your curiosity about it in order to inquire into its motivations and history. Every part of us holds a positive intention your system. This exploration is crucial to developing a working relationship with the critic. Ř You need to vitalize your compassion for yourself and the Inner Critic. It is only through the engagement of this heart quality that we can untangle the inter-connections between our other parts and this one. Ř You must look at all parts with eyes of appreciation for the specific jobs they are doing. As we see things from their point of view we sense that their efforts deserve acknowledgment and reflection. |
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